The recent Hollywood trend towards remakes of popular films and series now has fresh impetus. New breakthroughs in medical rejuvenation and cloning will finally make it possible to truly revive hit shows from years gone by, such as The Jack Benny Show and My Mother The Car.
Hollywood, CA – May 16, 2010 (PressReleasePivot) — Thanks to advanced medical rejuvenation and cloning techniques, it was announced today that the entire original cast of Star Trek – the seminal ’60s science fiction series – will be brought together for at least 26 new episodes.
Plans are already in place to restore the health and vitality of world-renowned actors William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy, as well as the rest of the cast. Newly developed cloning techniques will also allow Paramount producers to re-create DeForest “Bones” Kelly and James “Scotty” Doohan from DNA samples recovered from their old toothbrushes.
“This is such exciting news for the Star Trek fan community,” said Bill Shatner. “Boston Legal has been very good to me, but I’m looking forward to getting back to grips with the character of James Tiberius Kirk.” Shatner grinned, and continued, “Plus, there is a whole new generation of young actresses who must certainly be looking forward to wearing that green Orion Slave Girl makeup! I know I am…”
In addition to returning “Bones” and “Scotty” to life, producers also announced plans to clone Gene Roddenberry, so he can be employed in the creation of this new series. Rumors of genetic manipulation of the clones, to improve their tractability and reduce friction over creative differences, are unconfirmed at this time.
There has also been some concern for the welfare of the revivified actors, should the new series fail to be as popular as producers hope. It appears this has been taken into account. In a separate news release today, it has been announced that clones of Wally Cox, Charley Weaver, and Paul Lynde are already at the toddler stage, ensuring a successful revival of Hollywood Squares. ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hollywood_Squares )
“The success last year of J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek movie made it clear to us that this was the way to go,” said a Paramount producer who requested anonymity. “We figured it would be more profitable to go this way, and we’d probably earn an even bigger gross. Plus, we will be able to pay Roddenberry’s clone peanuts compared to what Abrams wanted.”
A network home for the new Star Trek series has not been announced, though the program is expected to be aired on a weekday night, but not Friday. NBC learned that lesson the hard way in 1969. ( http://bit.ly/StarTrekTOS )
About Star Trek
Star Trek ( http://www.startrekmovie.com/ ) is a Paramount property. All rights reserved. The series originated in 1965 with the first pilot episode, “The Cage”. It went on to a successful run of 3 seasons on NBC, and later led to a number of movies. Several successful spin-off series were developed, such as Deep Space 9 and Star Trek – The Animated Series.
About Cloning
Cloning is a medical process in which the genetic material from an existing organism is placed within a fertilized egg membrane, replacing the egg’s original genetic blueprint. The result is exact copies of the donor organism. For more information, see “Dolly the Sheep” or Verne “Mini-Me” Troyer.
About this Press Release
This press release was written in the spirit of fun, and with deep affection for all things Star Trek. No offense or infringement of copyright is intended. It is a complete fiction. No-one is planning to clone Scotty. Or even Paul Lynde. This press release was written with the help of ThoughtOffice PR|Pro software, yet contains practically no factual information whatsoever. But it was too good to wait until next April Fool’s Day. No animals were harmed in the creation of this press release, which uses 100% recycled electrons.
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